hmmm

is that a sigh i hear?

my new job sucks!!! why? from the top of my head: boring, 9-5 schedule, rush hour traffic. Mudah-mudahan apa yang gue dapet cukup worth it. Yah, sekarang gue dapet profound insight sama orang-orang yang 'berani' bekerja 9-5 dengan penuh dedikasi day-in, day-out. So, kalo lo ngerasa kerjaan atau hidup lo boring abis, relax. There's a pretty good chance that an even boring life/job/person exist.

Mengapa boring? Partially karena minggu pertama kantor gue belum siap, terus PC gue belum siap, terus perlengkapan gue belum siap. That's 3 weeks already. Dan sekali-kalinya gue dapet kerjaan, like for 2 weeks time udah selesai dalam waktu 2 hari. Cool huh? Ya, dan sekarang gue udah kehabisan kerjaan. Untungnya part of my job 'mengharuskan' gue keluar dari kantor dan menjaga 'relations' dengan media. So selalu ada alasan untuk balik ke kantor lama atau ketemu orang-orang baru.

Got my first new job paycheck yesterday, yah. lumayan buat makan gaji buta. Still, gue nggak tahan hidup/kerja idle gini. Shit, kalo gue mau hidup gini gue tinggal di Bandung or Jogja yang life expectancynya lebih lama daripada Jakarta. Walau gue mungkin bakal die of boredom disana. So my day job consist of waking up, getting ready, driving to work, browsing for news, sending mails, looking/testing products. Your usual stuff. So why do it?

i have my reasons.

i just hope they're the right ones. Yah, siapapun bisa ngomong alasan-alasan yang baik dan 'sahih'. Tapi apa bener itu yang lo inginkan? You know me, always pondering, always thinking, always have to do/think something.

Partly, i wanted to know if i could go through hell and back buat satu hal yang penting. If i am capable to put up with stupid stuff, day-in, day-out, and even more stupid people, hanya untuk that one thing that matters most in your life. Or one person, whichever you may prefer.

I need to know bisa nggak gue 'berkorban', mungkin kasarnya begitu. Hmm, pas ya sama waktunya kali.

And these two days are pretty hard. Stupid people who proved that there are no limit. And traffic, those stupid motorcycle drivers!?!?!?! But all of that pales in comparison to yang ini: mertua kakak gue bilang ke kakak gue bahwa dia 'tidak cukup ke-islaman-nya' WTF?!?! Kalo gue yang dibilangin gitu, gue sih terima. So what? Siapa dia yang 'berhak' bilang begitu, to anyone? Gue nggak peduli udah jadi haji 4x, atau udah kiai, or guru ngaji. Not one person has that right.

I really hate labals. And ownership.

Stupid, arrogant, conceited, under developed people.

Makes you want to rip their hearts out and feed it to them, in little pieces.

... little wonder mengapa banyak orang menilai Indonesia itu isn't worth saving, let alone fighting for.

Tapi hari ini, selepas lewat traffic for 2 hours, i saw something. Pagi tadi gue lewat Salemba. Saw a group of students pergi demo, Mahkamah Agung kalo nggak salah. I miss those days, where you don't have a care in the world. ketika lo pergi fighting for what you believe in, for what you feel is right. The days of Camelot.

I'm finding my way through the forest, to find Camelot. And my Lady Guinevere.