14/6/03 0:14

Sori guys, have to write this down

ever have one of those days? Well, this day is one of them, paling nggak buat gue. Hopefully, lo-lo nggak.

Biasanya karena hal-hal sepele. buat gue blasalah, mulanya dari deadline. One of my 'boss' as always, selalu ngejar-ngejar gue soal tulisan gue. Which is fine, kecuali kali ini my other boss is 'reminding' me too. Jadi, sebagai 'kuli' yg baik, gue harus penuhin 2-2nya.

Selagi gue nyelesein satu per satu kerjaan gue, my 2nd boss bilang bahwa beberapa kerjaan gue nggak diperluin lagi. Jadi wajar kan gue assign waktu ama usaha gue ke kerjaan lain. Tapi, satu hari sebelum deadline, dia bilang ternyata kerjaan gue masih perlu, plus gue mesti ngerjain satu lagi. Ok, at this point, gue masih ok.

So gue kerjain semuanya. Tapi seperti rush job yg lain, pasti ada yg belum lengkap. This time its the damn photos. Datang dengan muka asem dan suara meninggi, its a wonder gue nggak 'mencak2' balik waktu 'boss' nanyain. Instead, gue jelasin ke dia bahwa those photos harus diambil/diedit dulu sama orang lain, and he isn't in yet.

But, layaknya seorang bos yg diteriakin ama bosnya, dia hanya bisa bales teriak ke bawahannya - moi. l almost lost it waktu dia bilang bahwa semua teks/photo yg berkaitan artikel itu tanggung jawab gue. Ok, walau itu bener, please remember that this is a rush job, dan yang gue bisa lakuin udah dilakuin. This things take time.

Eventually, kerjaan gue beres/selesai. Dan ternyata, kerjaan orang-orang laen was far from over. Stupid.

I'm getting very tired of this.

but at least i don't have to reply those flame/hate mails. Ever get one? I get them all the time. Mulai dari orang yg emailnya nggak dibales, yang emailnya dibales tapi dia salah ngerti, ampe orang yang nggak mau nerima barang yg dia beli /jual dibilang nggak bagus....etc.

Bisa jadi postal gue. You know the expression 'going postal' kan? Freakin' out ala pegawai us post service yang nembakin orang-orang.

Hehehe, i know the who the 1st person will be.

so i came home, feeling a bit relieved it's over. Hanya to know bahwa bokap gue kembali jadi sasaran orang-orang yang pingin perang. Yah, life as usual. Setiap lo keluar rumah, you have to make sure nggak ada yg ngikutin lo, setiap lo berhenti di jalan, lo mesti ekstra hati-hati ama orang/motor dijalan. Dan setiap lo jalan di tempat umum, you have to keep glancing front-back, left-right just to make sure nggak ada yg bergerak cepat ke arah lo.

but the most difficult is looking at your friends in their eyes, trying to find out if they are what they say they are.

Yah, shit happens. And you're basically fucked.

Jadi maafin gue kalo gue 'cenderung' skeptik. Gue dah kelamaan begini, its 2nd nature. Lucunya, lo siap-siap bagaimanapun, one day you'll make a mistake. tiap langkah lo liat dulu, tiap kata lo pikir ati-ati, ada aja orang yg nangkepnya beda.

Yep, you're fucked good.

Dulu my 1st response biasanya langsung 'balik' ke orangnya. You know the feeling, tenggorokan lo ada yg 'ngeganjal' terus belakang leher lo mulai naik panasnya.

But i'm different now. Ok, mungkin nggak sebeda itu. I still have that reaction. Tapi sekarang gue ngerasa it's not worth the effort. terutama kalo tujuan orangnya emang itu.So....biasanya i looked away sebentar, daripada diliatIn ntar dikira nantang, trus berusaha ngomong sedatar mungkin, ngomong from my point of view gimana terus nanya ngerti atau nggak.

Usually orang yg emang cari gara-gara/ngejebak ketauan disini. But mostly orang-orang backed off or go screaming to someone else. WhIch is fine. Not good, just fine.

atau bisa aja semua ini honest mistake. That's okay. kalo ada salah my part/someone else, i'm sorry. I won't take it personally, i hope the other person won't too.

mmm, i feel better.

Just hope i won't turn numb